2025.03.10 #柯文哲 臉書
我的父親柯承發，曾夢想和哥哥一樣、念台大醫學院、當懸壺濟世的醫師，卻在14歲時遭遇二二八，我的祖父被抓走，在獄中被訊問、拷打三個星期，釋放後臥床幾年抑鬱而終。祖父倒下後，下面還有好幾個弟弟妹妹，所以父親只能去讀新竹師範學校，念書用公費、畢業後薪水都拿來供應弟弟妹妹成長。
沒有機會當醫生、也沒有機會念大學是我父親的遺憾，所以我小時候不用特別督促，也認真讀書，父親看著我的成績單，雖然和平常一樣沒有多說甚麼，但我知道他是高興的。
雖然父親的人生機會被當年的白色恐怖所剝奪，他還是努力地工作，他是柯家最堅強的支柱和靠山。
解嚴之後，228不再是社會禁忌，卻變成我最尷尬的日子，每一年一到228，父親參加完紀念活動，他就一路哭著回家，我知道，這是父親一生都無法走出的陰影。這就是為什麼每年228，我都去參加「一日北高」或「一日雙塔」的自行車活動，我用汗水代替淚水，走出憂傷的情結，用正面陽光的方式去面對歷史的悲情。
2013年，當我可能參選台北市長的消息開始傳開，父親從新竹搭車到台北，跑去台大醫院勸我好好當醫生，他說：「我在228失去父親，我不要再失去兒子」。我最後的決定，讓您這十年來為我操了不少心。我的人生這個轉彎，更讓您在臨終前失去了兒子的陪伴。
去年八月，父親正在住院時，我因為各種司法羅織的罪名遭到搜索、羈押，身為一個急重症醫師，行醫30多年，我竟然我無法在父親需要我時親自照料、為父親的病情做處置，只能在父親發出病危通知時，在重重戒護下被帶到醫院。
前兩次，父親還努力的睜開眼睛，看我一眼，結果兩次都奇蹟似的好轉，我知道他一直撐著要等我出獄，但我卻只能短短的停留半小時。每一次離開，我都以為就是永別。第三次，我又在半夜一點被帶到新竹分院，我看著父親，想叫他，卻發不出聲，因為當時父親尿毒素（BUN）超過160，每天尿量只有30c.c.，人已經完全昏迷，我只能靜靜的流淚、輕輕握著他的手，這時候，說什麼，他也聽不到了。
我知道父親一直在等我，他以九十四歲的高齡，以這樣的病體強撐了六個多月，直到他的身體再也無法負荷。我卻再度讓父親失望，最後還是無法在最後一刻隨侍在旁、無法再握著父親的手，告訴他我的感謝、更無法向他拜別。連父親過世的消息，都是隔了一天，才由律師轉達，當律師告訴我：「你爸爸在昨天去世了」，那懸在心中好幾天的不安終於發生了，父親終於撐不到我可以回去陪伴他，這是我一生的遺憾。
人間至悲、莫此為甚。
父親，感謝您這一生對我的嚴厲教誨、對我關懷備至，謝謝您儘管不認同我從政、期待我安穩的在台大醫院當個醫生，但謝謝您，總是靜靜的在每一個場合支持著我、當兒子最大的靠山。
對不起父親！直到我60多歲了，還讓你如此擔心，請父親安息吧！您的兒子會像您一樣，繼續堅強的面對人生的挫折和打擊，請您不要為我擔心。在天之靈，請庇佑著媽媽，保佑她身體康健，我以後會好好的照顧媽媽。
我相信，苦難都會過去，總有重現光明的一天。
圖片與文字來源：柯文哲臉書 https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1DbkA1Yw2n/
Translation:
Ko Wen Je's Farewell Speech for His Father, Ko Chengfa(柯承發):
My father, Ko Chengfa, once dreamed of being like his older brother, studying at NTU Medical School and becoming a doctor to help those in need. However, at the age of 14, he encountered the 228 incident. My grandfather was arrested, interrogated, and tortured for three weeks in prison, and after being released, he spent several years bedridden due to depression until he passed away. After my grandfather collapsed, there were still many younger siblings below him, so my father had to attend Hsinchu Normal School, studying on public funds and using his salary after graduation to support his siblings.
Not having the opportunity to become a doctor or attend university was my father's regret, so when I was young, I didn't need special encouragement; I studied diligently. My father looked at my transcript, and although he didn't say much as usual, I knew he was pleased.
Despite my father's life opportunities being deprived by the White Terror(白色恐怖), he continued to work hard, remaining the strongest pillar and support for the Ko family.
After martial law was lifted, the 228 incident was no longer a social taboo but became the most embarrassing day for me. Every year on 228, after participating in commemorative activities, my father would cry all the way home. I knew this was a shadow my father could never escape from. This is why every year on 228, I participate in "north-south ride one day "(一日北高) or "Bikedfrom Taipei to Kaohsiung one day" cycling events, using sweat instead of tears, walking out of the sorrowful emotions, and facing historical tragedies in a positive and sunny way.
In 2013, when news of my possible candidacy for Taipei mayor began to spread, my father traveled from Hsinchu to Taipei and went to NTU Hospital to persuade me to continue being a doctor. He said, "I lost my father in 228; I don't want to lose my son again." My final decision made you worry a lot over the past decade. This turning point in my life made you lose your son's companionship in your final days.
Last August, when my father was hospitalized, I was searched and detained for various judicial charges. As a critical care physician with over 30 years of medical practice, I was unable to personally care for my father and manage his condition when he needed me, only able to be escorted to the hospital under heavy guard when my father issued a critical illness notice.
The first two times, my father tried hard to open his eyes and look at me, miraculously improving twice. I knew he was holding on, waiting for me to be released, but I could only stay for half an hour each time. Every time I left, I thought it would be the final farewell. The third time, I was taken to the Hsinchu branch at 1 a.m. I looked at my father, wanting to call him but unable to speak because his BUN had exceeded 160 at the time, his daily urine output was only 30 c.c., and he was completely unconscious. I could only quietly shed tears and gently hold his hand, knowing that whatever I said, he couldn't hear anymore.
I knew my father was always waiting for me, holding on for over six months with such a fragile body until he could no longer bear it. I once again disappointed my father, unable to be by his side at the last moment, unable to hold his hand and express my gratitude, unable to bid him farewell. Even the news of my father's passing was conveyed by the lawyer a day later. When the lawyer told me, "Your father passed away yesterday," the anxiety that had hung in my heart for several days finally came true. My father couldn't wait for me to return and accompany him, which will be my lifelong regret.
This is the greatest sorrow in the world.
Father, thank you for your strict teachings and deep care throughout your life. Although you didn't agree with my political career and hoped I would peacefully work as a doctor at NTU Hospital, thank you for always quietly supporting me in every situation, being the greatest support for your son.
Sorry, Father! Even at over 60 years old, I made you worry so much. Please rest in peace, Father! Your son will continue to face life's setbacks and challenges with the same strength you demonstrated. Please don't worry about me. In your spirit, please protect my mother and bless her with good health. I will take good care of her in the future.
I believe all hardships will pass, and there will be a day when the light returns.
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